davidbyrne:

i love laughing about the friend zone because it’s so dumb like you know most of those dudes aren’t even IN the “friend zone” they’re in the “ugh god not this dude again” zone

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VIA: michellesbythesea ORIGINALLY FROM: davidbyrne

impalassible-nottolove:

So my friend works in the sound booth at his church and during the sermon, the preacher started bashing on gay people, so my friend muted him. Literally muted his preachers microphone I

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VIA: sidratblue ORIGINALLY FROM: impalassible-nottolove

angry90slesbian:

I’m in the living room and I could hear my mom on the phone down in the basement trying to fix something in the vent. So naturally I went over to the vent and went "OOOoooOOOHHHhhhh DeBORaHH!!!!! ThhIIISSSsss Issss YouRR CONSCIENCEEEEE!!!! ConFEsSS TO thAT MURDER YooouUU CooMMiTtEEDDdd in 1983!!!!"

and all I heard back was

I’m gonna have to call you back. My kids being a fucking idiot again.”

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VIA: sidratblue ORIGINALLY FROM: angry90slesbian

worldofdoubt:

ayoutuberobsession:

he looks so happy!


Me

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VIA: thestanakatic ORIGINALLY FROM: ayoutuberobsession

charmancler:

who cares about hashtags when there’s hashbrowns

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VIA: liz-wil ORIGINALLY FROM: charmancler

fullhale:

we’re living in an era where capturing moments on our phones is more important than building giant robots to protect us from the giant alien lizard monsters emerging from the depths of the pacific ocean

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VIA: redvisors ORIGINALLY FROM: puddlewolf

feverto:

when you know something doesnt fit in the fridge but you force the door shut and let it fall out on someone else

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maliciousmelons:

my anaconda dont want none unless you got funds hun

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VIA: atticrissfinch ORIGINALLY FROM: maliciousmelons

deatheaters:

dark times are coming for bloggers who don’t watch doctor who

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VIA: acciobillweasley ORIGINALLY FROM: deatheaters

vanillish:

ok but consider this

  • who cares
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VIA: michellesbythesea ORIGINALLY FROM: vanillish

riseabovedefeat:

People with anxiety:

  • Know the worry is irrational
  • Want to calm down but can’t
  • Hate the fact that breathing feels like you are trying to breathe rocks instead of air
  • Feel like they are drowning and suffocating.  Telling them to just take a breath and calm down doesnt help.
  • Want to stop shaking but can’t control their limbs.
  • Just plain feel horrible and embarrassed.
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VIA: michellesbythesea ORIGINALLY FROM: riseabovedefeat

awidesetvagina:

this is still the best story ever told at a talk show

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VIA: rosedonna ORIGINALLY FROM: awidesetvagina
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VIA: intoasylum ORIGINALLY FROM: freaks-andd-geeks
zombiesandporn:

cathilia-crimson:

checkzeattic:

menthol-drops-and-angel-wings:

levi4thans:

PEOPLE DIED 

102 YEARS AGO
THEY’RE ALL SKELETONS FIGHTING IN THE UNDERWATER SKELETON WAR NOW
CHILL

I’m sure they are very chill right now.

You might even say they’re…ICE COLD.

ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT 

zombiesandporn:

cathilia-crimson:

checkzeattic:

menthol-drops-and-angel-wings:

levi4thans:

PEOPLE DIED 

102 YEARS AGO

THEY’RE ALL SKELETONS FIGHTING IN THE UNDERWATER SKELETON WAR NOW

CHILL

I’m sure they are very chill right now.

You might even say they’re…

ICE COLD.

ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT 

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VIA: jpierrepontcriss ORIGINALLY FROM: blazepress

deathpup:

shrexything:

babyferaligator:

oomshi:

is masturbating while smoking weed called masturblazing 

no its called highjacking

guys no it’s weedwhacking

no its called dissapointing ur mother

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VIA: pink-bowtie ORIGINALLY FROM: oomshi